Rough Patch

Last week was, by far, one of the most frustrating weeks of my life, and I'm finally ready to talk more openly about what is going on with me right now.

As many of you know, I recently graduated with my M.S. in clinical psychology. I am working towards becoming a marriage and family therapist which unfortunately means that a masters degree alone does not grant me the ability to start my professional career. The BBS requires me to gather 3000 supervised hours over the course of 2 years (post-grad) before I am eligible to sit for the licensing exam.

While I was finishing my degree, I was working as a marriage and family therapist trainee at a local county facility. This was allowing me to gather some pre-degree hours that I was able to apply to the overall 3k total. After my trainee-ship was up, I was asked to stay, even though it meant I would be working for free. I was told that if I stayed, when a paid position came up, it would be mine. The benefit for me was that I could continue to collect supervised hours towards my license, and the benefit for them was free labor.

I worked for free from the end of May until the end of September, and as promised, a paid position was given to me. The best part was that not only was it a paid position, but it was paid very well. At this point, I'd been working for the site for over a year, and felt pretty comfortable in my ability to do the job. Things were really looking up for me professionally, and finally having a well-paying job meant that Brian and I could consider looking for our first home. I was really excited to open that chapter of our lives.

Three weeks later I was fired without notice. When asked why, I was told that they could not discuss it, and that was that. I was left confused, embarrassed, angry, sad, and without a job. That was almost a week ago, and I still don't know why it happened. I've attempted to get more information, but still have nothing.

On Friday, I had to file for unemployment for the first time in my life which was....well, a more than humbling experience. I never thought that it was something I would have to do, as I thought that working all those years to obtain a masters degree would help keep something like this from happening.

Financially, Brian and I are fine, and we will continue to be fine. I know this. We are incredibly lucky to have been given the opportunity to have our 1 bedroom apartment rent-free in exchange for managing the complex. Mostly it is just frustrating, as our dreams of moving away from this situation finally became a reality, and then disappeared in the blink of an eye.

I've spent the past few days feeling defeated, a bit depressed, and questioning my ability as a therapist. I have never in my life been fired from a job. In fact, I have never even received a negative review from a job. I take pride in my work ethic, and if I was doing something wrong, I would have liked to have been given the opportunity to correct it. Unfortunately, the situation has left me not knowing whether it was something I did or not, and without the opportunity for professional growth.

I will continue on, I will move forward, and things will work out for the better. This is another thing I know. I will spend my free time looking for another internship that will allow me to get my remaining hours, and eventually, I will find one. However, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still confused and upset about the entire situation.