Weight Rundown Week 1

Don't forget about my giveaway!

I went back and forth about whether or not this was something I wanted to blog about or not. I’ve done it before, and while I know the few people who read this are very supportive of me, it’s hard not to feel embarrassed or disappointed when things don’t work out the way you want them to. Last time I tried, I was under high amounts of stress, and nothing I was doing (even exercise and Weight Watchers) was helping me to lose weight. Since then, I finished graduate school, finished wedding planning and got married, left 2 very stressful/unhealthy jobs, and gained a much better one. I am no longer working at night, and have more time to take care of myself and my needs, as well as my relationships. Overall, I just feel like I am in a much better place physically and emotionally to try this once again.

The other reason I went back and forth on blogging about this is that I tend to catch a lot of crap about dieting. It is true that I am not significantly overweight, and as a result, people give me a hard time about it. There are only so many eating disorder jokes you can take before it just gets annoying. The truth of the matter is that while I may not be significantly overweight, I AM overweight, and it isn’t healthy. Period.

About 5 years ago I did weight watchers, and it worked beautifully for me. At the time, I was not at a healthy weight, and it was affecting me both physically and emotionally. My asthma was giving me problems, my knees were slipping out fairly frequently, and I just felt terrible about myself. I hated the way all my clothes fit, and it was a constant struggle every day just to find something to wear that I didn’t feel awful in. It took me about 6 months, but I lost 30 lbs and felt better than ever. I kept the weight off for a few years, but as graduate school, wedding stress, and other things came into my life, I lost sight of maintenance, and slipped back into old unhealthy eating habits. Slowly but surely my weight crept up and up and up. The funny thing is that even though I didn’t like it, I was almost too busy to care. Or at least, that was the excuse I used. The truth is that I wasn’t good at figuring out how to balance stress with weight maintenance, and I let my life get in the way of that goal.

The time came on Sunday when I stepped on the scale for the first time in a long time and realized I’d gained all but 2 lbs of the original weight back. I’m right back where I started 5 years ago, and I absolutely hate it. Aside from my own self-esteem issues, this weight is downright unhealthy for my size, and something needs to change. I decided that day that I was going to join the program and do it again. I’ve now been doing it faithfully for the past 5 days, and so far, the adjustment hasn’t been too bad. They have completely re-structured the program since the last time I was on it, so much of what I knew before has changed. In a way I feel this is a good thing, as I am no longer the same person I was 5 years ago, and could use something different.

Technology has changed DURASTICALLY over the past 5 years, and they now have an app for my iPhone that allows me to track food and look up point values on the go. This makes tracking what you are eating easier than ever, and since I’m able to do it immediately, I feel it makes me feel more accountable for the kinds of foods I am choosing.

Speaking of food choices, I’ve never had a hard time eating healthy. In fact, if you were to do a random sweep of our home, all you would ever find is healthy food. However, one of the biggest challenges I have is eating the correct portion sizes of those foods. I’ve also never been very good at being in a relationship with someone who is thin (and maintains their weight very naturally) while I’m trying to maintain or diet. If I ate HALF the things my husband is able to, I’d easily be MUCH more overweight! It makes cooking dinner difficult, as we currently have 2 different sets of needs, and you almost feel as if you need to cook 2 different things. I’m going to have to get better about cooking regular meals, and learning to eat the correct portion size to maintain whatever it is my goal is at that time. This will be one of my biggest challenges, as counting calories in a recipe of many combined elements can become quite difficult. However, it will also be one of the best life skills I can gain from this experience, as you don’t always have control of what the available food options are, so learning portion control (and to listen to your body queues)is critical.

In any case, I feel really good about the change, and I’m ready for it. I actually enjoy the Weight Watchers program, and don’t mind all the tracking. I can’t wait to start seeing those numbers creep down down down, right back into a healthy weight range. I’m looking forward to being my old healthy self this summer, and won’t let anything stop me from getting there this time!