Why Did I Do This To Myself?

The exam is coming up this Friday and I'm majorly stressing to memorize everything I need to in order to fully diagnose an adult and child client and come up with ways to treat them. It is SO much information to know by heart. I'm finding that the more I memorize, the more the stuff I memorized in the beginning starts to fade...even if I knew it really well before.

The sleepless nights have begun. Not so much because I'm up all night studying, more so because I want this exam to be over. I'm sitting here now struggling to remember the criteria for all of the mood disorders I covered today. I need to know them better than this so I can move on to anxiety, personality, eating, and child disorders.

Speaking of anxiety, I think the reason I am so freaked out is because every year, about 10% do not pass. I know I am a very intelligent individual, but I am only 1 of 3 who also keeps a job while in the program. While I get very good grades, when my scores are looked at in comparison to the other 12 people, mine are consistently in the bottom half. I don't have the time to devote to studying relentlessly like others do.

The good news is that if I don't pass one (or both) sections, I have one chance to retry. Unfortunately, the retry is with an entirely different exam, but at least you get another chance. If you fail the 2nd time, you're out of the program entirely.

I can't imagine what I would do if that happened, and am trying not to think about that possibility. Trying isn't so successful though. I should have been asleep an hour ago...

My diet is SO COMPLETELY on pause this week. The last thing I want to stress about is points at a time like this.

DISCLAIMER:

To all my blog readers (all like...2 of you, lol) who I happen to come into contact with this week:

I am likely going to be super self-absorbed, high-strung, and maybe even a little bitchy. Furthermore, please do not expect me to apologize for my behavior, as I will be too self-absorbed to even notice it.

Thank you.

Cram-tastic

I've been studying for this exam ALL day (no kidding) and I STILL don't feel like I know everything I am supposed to know.

For 11 topics, I'm expected to know how to conceptualize the disorder, what is believed to cause and maintain it, what the data shows, what areas to assess, with what measure, and why, and empirically supported treatments.

I've got a 13 page study guide I created from the 500 pages this exam is on, and I've been reading over and over all day

...and I still don't know it

Grad school sucks.

Grad School Blues

I spent roughly 20 hours working on a paper on Adlerian therapy.

No joke. 20 hours.

Come to find out, the other 11 in my cohort group spent the same amount of time that I did...some spent even more.

I guess I'm not slow.

The sad part is that I have to write three more papers of the same length. And this is only ONE of the assignments for ONE of my classes....there is plenty more to do on top of that.

Is it 2010 yet?